Whoever Gets Me
Lyrics by David Cameron Anderson, Davecamson Music ASCAP
Music by Jeff Rizzo

I need to take some time right now to process you and I
Search my soul to find out who you are to me
Check in with the universe and honor its' reply
Open up to what the spirit needs us to be
(spoken) Huh?
In other words, you new-age nut, you're giving me the ax
You're done and don't know what the hell to say
You've dropped me on my keister and you're embarrassed by the facts
So let me help you as you send me on my way!

Whoever gets me will be so gosh darned lucky
'cause I'm thoughtful, I'm loving and I'm kind
The next person in line will be so glad-ass giddy, but
I'm not who you had in mind

It isn't my age
It isn't the sex
It's more than gut reaction but it's less than complex
It's not I'm too smart
It's not I'm too dumb
You've always kind of liked the place I'm coming from

But whoever gets me will be so hepped up happy
'cause I'm full of good suggestions and advice
The next cracker I catch will be so thoroughly thankful
Who'd a thunk they'd find a creature so nice!
Well, you're so saintly and smug, sin-free and sincere
It's me who should take stock of how the hell I got here
What about all that crap about two hearts and one path
You and I and your new boyfriend - well now, you do the math!

pause, wait for denial, lucky guess

I'd like to think it's in my character to see the good in all
So I will wish you two God speed and best of luck
I won't waste time with 'but you said'
You said with every single call!
(spoken) ah shit
Here comes sad, you lousy friend - the end.