Sandy Lysaght's Ma
Lyrics by David Cameron Anderson, Davecamson Music ASCAP
Music by Geoff Packard

Cupcakes for the holiday from the Mothers of Room 210
They just don't taste the same today as those we got back then
Thought all day about 'em
Saved my milk and straw
The lucky got the sprinkle topped
From Sandy Lysaght's Ma

Her mother, come to think of it
Was sort of sprinkle mad
Covered her with glitter
Every chance she had
Christmas brought the red and green
Green for St. Pat's too
On flag day she reflected light
Of red and white and blue
Who needs an Easter Bonnet
My friend was, yearly, told
When you, my dear have hair that sparkles purple, pink and gold!
Sandy moved to Pittsburgh during junior high
If glitter sales were off that year
Well, that's the reason why!

Another childhood story I think I might exploit
Concerns my friend and classmate
By the name of Vicki Coit
The simple facts are Vicki got to school one day at ten
She whispered to the teacher and got sent to the RN
Word spread like a house afire
Vicki met a rat
It swam up through the plumbing
And it bit her where she sat
The nurse took out a needle
Two feet long to hear her tell
And stuck her where the rat had been
Vicki's private hell!
I'll bet there's thirty people who never have forgot
The day our friend was late to school from sitting on the pot!!

In retrospect my grade school teachers may as well be mimes
For all that I remember are the really dorky times
Two things Iearned in seven years
Miss Radachy to ol' Miss Sears
Never be the victim of a fearless rodent jaw
And never sprinkle kids with stuff
Like Sandy Lysaght's Ma