Karma Comedian
Lyrics by David Cameron Anderson, Davecamson Music ASCAP
Music by Jeff Rizzo

I just said the 'F' word to a service representative
For reasons that I can't or won't explain.
Though I'm feeling sort of guilty,
It's a kind of guilty pleasure so I'm sure that this will all come 'round again.
This 'Karma' thing, it's lunatic!
Whatever were they thinking when they hatched this spiteful fiendish little plot?
And although the best intentions may have spawned their stupid methodry...
Well, I for one would like to see them shot!
Now, I know that just by saying that I'm digging me a kind of hole
Which puts me in a deeper Karmic debt
And what frightens me the most about my 'friggin' situation
Is I'm fine and nothing badÊ has happened yet
Yet.
(spoken) hey wait a minute...
It could be that I'm a messenger on call from Karma Central
And I'm sent to work without the knowing why?
If there's someone who's done something or there's someone doing something
Then they send me in to give the rule a try
See, from what I understand about the way that Karma works
Is someone does a dirty deed and shrugs it off
If they 'fess to it or somehow make the situation easier or better
Then they get to go play golf
If they don't, then that's where I come in
To make their life more difficult
Or, at the very least, make their life worse
And I'm hoping that's the kind of thing I did to Miss Pacific Bell
By barking out that 'No-No' 'Badboy!' curse
AND it very well could be the reason you are here this evening
Because maybe you have really done it now!
You have either been the sweetest thing that's living on the planet
Or you've caused my boss to really have a cow!
So, it was up to you a year ago, or yesterday, or in the car
Or subway on your way to hear me sing
Whether I am just a little slice of hell-
Or I'm the symphony that makes your slightly stringy heart go Zing!
So, either way you look at it I'm what the doctor ordered
Or the cable guy or cashier at the bank.
I am flawlessly reflective of your feats or of your foolishness
How fortuitous I'm free to be so frank!
So, for all who I will love, or shove
(Including Miss Pacific Bell)
It appears my every pleasure is your fate
For whatever you have done -
Or you may sometime in the future do -
I'm at your service, in advance, or somewhat late!