I Give a Perfect Wedgie!
Lyrics by David Cameron Anderson, Davecamson Music ASCAP
Music by Billy Philadelphia, Dim Sum Music BMI

Bacall said to Bogart "Put your lips together and blow."
Renee said to Tom, "You had me at Hello"
Chaplin wooed the women with a wiggle in his walk
Billy Bob was heard to say, "I like the way you talk"
Although I've not their way with words - I'm romantic too!
I guarantee you'll fall for me when you hear what I can do!...

I give a perfect wedgie
just the right amount of tug
You wanna try my wedgie?
What do ya say? it's like a drug!
Yes, mine's the perfect wedgie
the kind of lift you least expect
turns Reginald to Reggie
I'm pretty good in that respect

I also give good noogies
just the right amount of rub
You wanna try my noogies?
What do ya say? how 'bout it bub?
oh, who wouldn't want my noogies
anytime or anywhere
invigorating noogies
Are beneficial to your hair!

I'll be the first to define my style
juvenile, but wait awhile
I'll work my way to the top of the pile
If I've yet to win ya over, have I made you smile?!

Oh, How 'bout a perfect wedgie?
wanna try one on for size?
stimulating wedgie
plummeting jaw and bulging eyes
Oh, Don't you need a nightly noogie?
A bit o' buggin' before bed
Bigger, better noogie!
You gotta order them ahead!

If Viv'ien gave good noogies
Would Gable give a damn?
Miss Piggy gave good wedgies?
Would Kermit go for ham?
We'll never know the answers
It's anybody's guess
But say it's true
That I'm for you
I'm yours if you'll say YES!